As much as I want to write here  more often, but when I read these old posts, it  still gives me that "icky, shiver" feeling, that "scary" feeling that the nightmare still with me . I'm appreciating everything that's happening to me right now (and I'm soo much thankful) but when you're alone and no matter how you want to forget those nightmares, they'll still haunt you.

They said, the first step towards forgiveness is accepting that the past will never change. At kinakapa ko ang sarili ko when to fully forgive that person because there's no reason to look back, there are no reasons to get mad anymore. It would be totally pointless, worthless of the effort being mad. I know I'm on the road of forgiving him. Alam ko at kilala ko ang sarili ko. I'm not that person who holds grudges against people. Kung pwede nga lang right away, papatawarin ko sya on what he had done/said to me, gagawin ko talaga yan. Because alam ko rin sa sarili ko that there are a lot of blessings that coming my way. And that's being ungrateful  that you're receiving a lot of good things and yet you can't forgive this person.

Aside from forgiveness, peace of mind ang gusto ko uli maibalik sakin. And I know they will come together in time. When everything is on place already yung halos wala nakong maramdaman na pagmamahal, wala ng self-pity, panghihinayang, disappointments, wala ng kahit anong emotions towards that person, and I won't cry anymore, peace of mind is on the horizon already. 

The first three months of this year is challenging I could say. But I know for sure that challenges/hardships will "bend" me a li'l but definitely they won't break me.

03.09.12
2:04 PM
Toronto, Ontario