HEY!

It's been a while and after soo many times of me thinking of updating this or not, I ended NOT doing it anyway. There's nothing really crazy going on with my life right now (which is good and weird at the same time) And it really bores me in some way. Well, it's been quiet actually after I "suffered" for 18 months. It's been a tough 18 months for me and, maybe, for the rest of everyone here. BUT I didn't lose hope and faith, instead "justice has been served" to this person whom I will never ever want to encounter in my whole life EVER again. All the prayers and patience and being deadmabells all the time paid off and I can't believe it's over now. And thank you God for that, really!

I'm kind of disappointed with myself right now because I had some sort of "weight loss relapse." It seems that I can't find the motivation and drive to do it again and I'm trying to keep back on track the soonest. Before, I'm doing soo much that I ended up being disappointed on myself  while doing it. I'm pushing myself soo hard that I forgot to enjoy my journey and what my core is all about. It's one hell of a battle with myself and I'm acknowledging the hardships that I'm encountering. 

And you just have to be honest on what you are feeling right now and where do you really wanna go. Honestly, I can't answer it right now because I'm not enjoying the purpose of what I'm trying to accomplish. I disappoint myself and at the same time I don't know when and where to start. It's kind of weird, too, that I can start all over again anytime I want. I just don't know why the hell I can't start it yet and why I'm procrastinating so much.

Maybe I'm just bored eh? Or hormones? One thing I know, I'm not inconsistent (now) and it's really bad for the future.