Breakpoint

I've been through with sad moments nowadays. I can't help it and it's just a matter of how I will handle it. I'm trying to conceal it by, you know, being the goofy person all the time and laugh till I drop. But when I get into my senses, when I go to my bed, when I suddenly remember all those things that made me sad I became tame. I became the same "emotional-honey-again" wherein I feel weak and tired. And I don't like to move around and be bothered. There are things that I kept within me because I know nobody will understand. Because, I myself, don't really understand why I'm going through with this. I always asked do I deserve to be treated like this? Do we have to meet strangers who will treat you like crap? I don't know. I really don't know. Yesterday was one of the nicest day I had. I cried but that's it. I felt so okay when I'm done with it. Because I admitted to myself that it can never be the way I wanted from the start. It's a sad thing but it's the truth. At least I've been happy, I've been elated with these feelings. I made a right decision, and I'm not ashamed of that because that's who Honey is all about. I'm not being pretentious. 

I have this perception that when you cry, you are considered weak. So I'm always think that I'm weak. I'm tired of giving people their senses while I myself can't find one. They look at me like I'm the wackiest, funniest person they know but deep inside I'm crying. I'm just tired of this same routine, same emotions, over and over and over again. I need some diversions I know. But how I will start. When? Where?

You know everybody has their own shit to deal with, their own sadness to express. This is me and I love being me.

There are no wrong decisions until you regret.